Green Soylent and Pink Goo

The oth­er day I was told by a friend of mine “y­ou let your kid eat Chick­en Nugget­s at Mc­Don­ald­s? Do you know what they are made of? Amo­ni­a!” This is old stuff, but re­al­ly, it’s nev­er too late to snick­er at peo­ple. Let me show you a pic­ture:

http://ionenewsone.files.wordpress.com/2010/10/nugget-goo.jpg

What a chick­en nugget is made of. Maybe.

Sure­ly, it can’t be good to eat sus­pi­cious pink thing made of uniden­ti­fi­able chick­en bit­s, right? Sor­ry, I have no bet­ter way to say it, but, that’s stupid. What that is, is a way to get ev­ery lit­tle bit of pro­tein out of a dead chick­en. And that is good. Be­cause if we are go­ing to kill a chick­en, the least we can ­do is eat all of it. And this thing does such a good job even fussy five year old­s like eat­ing the uniden­ti­fi­able chick­en bit­s.

This is both eco­log­i­cal­ly sound and eco­nom­i­cal­ly wise, but smart. If na­tive amer­i­can­s ­did this, we would for­ev­er show it as an ex­am­ple of their moral su­pe­ri­or­i­ty back when we had not killed them with chick­en­pox, along with their crafty wood­carv­ing.

So, with that out of the way, let’s look at an­oth­er pic­ture:

http://filmfanatic.org/reviews/wp-content/uploads/2008/11/soylent-green-robinson.jpg

What Soy­lent Green will be made of.

If I lived in that fu­ture, and was told “Soy­lent Green is made of peo­ple! peo­ple!” ( Should I have used a spoil­er alert for a movie re­leased when I was 2? In 1973?), I would say “cool, that guy al­ways had good taste”. In the movie, it’s not like some­one is kid­nap­ping guys and feed­ing them to the soy­len­tiz­er. It’s a vol­un­tary af­fair. Peo­ple say “I’m old, this life suck­s, make me in­to green food”. Then, he’s eu­th­a­nized and, lat­er, pro­cessed and eat­en. That’s not shock­ing, that is log­i­cal.

If I ev­er die (which I in­tend not to), you are all au­tho­rized to turn me in­to pink goo, dye me green, and turn me in­to spe­cial St Patrick­’s day chick­en Mc­Nugget­s.

Bon ap­petit.

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