Skeletons of stories that won't ever be written.

Inspired by "From Dusk Till Dawn".

Story Nr. 1: Night of the predator

Genre: Supernatural Horror.

Notes: This story should be written in Lovecraftian prose, and try to provide a sense of foreboding, and imminent doom, while seeming completely obvious.

Francis was the seventh son of a seventh son of a seventh son. As such, his fate was preordained. On every full-mooned friday, he would experiment a horrid transformation.

He runs through the woods while remembering the strange admonitions from his father, who explained to him the bloodthirst of the werewolf, the horror of his actions, the curse upon his victims.

He feels a nagging sense of things being all wrong. A hunger for strange, unnamed things. An eagerness for forward motion. A predatorial wish.

Then, while in the woods, looking at the moon, he experiences a painful elongation of his body, a constriction of his limbs.

His skin changes quickly, his teeth grow too long and sharp for his mouth.

He flops around for a minute or two and dies.

The seventh son of a werewolf is a wereshark.

The rest of the story is a CSI-style police procedural about the origin of a shark corpse 500km away from the sea, the protagonists are park rangers.

Story Nr. 2: The man with the golden brain

Genre: bondian superspy.

Notes: This should include a lot of technojargon which makes no sense, and the prose should be quite bad. Think Ian Fleming.

Our superspyprotagonist is tasked with destroying the world-destroying weapon of a thirld world dictator with a surprisingly large moustache and a beret.

This dictator's headquarters are beneath a volcano, and his weapon would destroy the world by provoking catastrophes of a very complicated nature (to be determined. ideas: drive all farm animals into a killing frenzy, make all 7up bottles explode at random times, turn cocker spaniels into evil scientists).

Our hero enters the lair through some complicated path involving sewers and airducts.

He is captured by the evil tyrant, and tied to a table with a giant laser aimed at his groin.

While the tyrant prepares to kill him in this over-complicated manner, the hero says "before I die, can I ask you one thing?".

The tyrant replies by blowing hero's head with a colt 45 then says "Hell, no!" [1].

Unimpeded in his plans because all industrialized nations relied on a single guy working alone, he blackmails all the world into surrender.

The rest of the movie is a geopolitical thriller about:

  • The difficulty of ruling the world from an underdeveloped country, with emphasis on telecommunication issues.
  • The ecological situation stemming from the forced undevelopment of Western Europe and North America in order to reduce the stress on the environment.
  • The psichological stresses on the world population when they realize their lifes depend on the whim of the guy with the bigger gun.
  • The compassionate rule of the aforementioned tyrant and benevolent dicator for life, who proceeds to disarm all armies (including his own), and never actually uses his weapon.

Epilogue:

200 years later, the impossibility of remotely controlled explosive 7up bottles is terminantly proven.


[1] This is taken from the "Guie for the Perfect Tyrant".

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