The next time some­one sug­gests you take a di­etary sup­ple­men­t, or a plant or herb ex­trac­t, or tells you to eat, drink, ap­ply on your skin, in­hale, or do any­thing with the ar­gu­ment that it's nat­u­ral, re­mem­ber this:

NA­TURE HATES YOU

Al­most ev­ery­thing that comes from na­ture will kill you. All an­i­mals would pre­fer that you die, all plants are tox­i­c, and it's on­ly through a long evo­lu­tion­ary process that you are bare­ly ca­pa­ble of di­gest­ing any veg­eta­bles.

There is a rea­son why we take as­pirin in­stead of chew­ing bark, and why we cook meat be­fore we eat it. Freak­ing potatos are tox­ic if eat­en raw.

Give pars­ley to a par­rot, give choco­late to a dog, give cel­ery to a cat, give hem­lock to you: DEAD. Be­cause all around you is try­ing to kill you. All the time.

Na­ture is not a moth­er, na­ture is ac­tive­ly hos­tile to you and will be hap­py to make your life as hard, brief and painful as pos­si­ble. Man has changed that. Say­ing "o­h, but this is nat­u­ral" is an in­dict­men­t, a warn­ing sign.

Raw food­ist­s, pa­leo di­et ad­vo­cates, herbal-­sup­ple­men­t-chug­ger­s: you are all the ben­e­fi­cia­ries of a long his­to­ry of know­ing what is semi-safe to eat be­cause ev­ery­thing else will kill you.

I will not eat any­thing na­ture gives me un­til it has been care­ful­ly test­ed by men and sci­ence. Be­cause sci­ence is good and na­ture is evil.