2006-01-09 11:43

Narnia

Saw Narnia the other day.

Liked it.

Of course, the whole story makes no sense, but hey, that's how it's supposed to be.

If you have not seen it, and have not read the book, and intend to ignore the plot, please stop here. Ok?

There is this large lion, Aslan.

He gives his own life to save that of a sniveling treacherous, silly kid who sells others for turkish delight (a candy Rosario tried in Istanbul, and tells me is pretty good, so there is some sense in him).

Ok, so the kid is actually just scared, and petty, and a kid, and he's not that bad.

On the other hand, the lion...

For the whole movie, the White Witch is built up as evil, and monstrous and a killer. But it turns out that the worse she does is freeze her victims. Unharmed.

She eventually kills someone in a battle (but so does Peter, our 14-year old "hero").

The frozen guys can be revived at will by Aslan. Who for some reason had not done so.

On the other hand, Aslan's big sacrifice? He knew all along that he would be unharmed. Even his mane regrows after a few hours.

At least he could have told the two poor girls who thought had seen him die. And skipped the whole heavy-hearted "oh, I am so sacrificing myself" walk through the woods.

Oh, you may say, but the war is fought so that the true rulers of Narnia will ascend to their thrones!

Well, how in hell are those four english kids the true rulers? They had never been there, they have no connection to anyone there!

Hell they are the only four bloody humans in the world!

It looks amazingly racist to me. Species-ist?

So, hundreds of Narnia inhabitants die (and I mean really die, not fake-die like that Aslan kitten) so some carpetbaggers get to lord as kings over the plebeian masses, instead of another high-born chick.

My suggestion to the hordes of gryphons, sphinxes, polar bears, fauns, centaurs and dwarves:

Kill them all, and start living a decent life, without supporting useless parasites.

Free Phillip!

PS: Yeah, I did like it ;-)

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